Where'd You Go?

wtf is happening? everything is so fucked up rite now. I don't even see how we got to this point. Lookin back on things, i see how tight we all were, how much love we had for each other. Now, i look around and just see pain everywhere i look. Pain at the loss of one brother, Pain at the disunity of the others, Pain at the crisis of the remaining whole, Pain caused to men by their own brothers. Wat happened to the days where everything was in harmony and the world was a good place to be? Maybe i was just blind to the things that i see now? maybe i just didnt want to see them and so i saw only wat i wanted to see.... Idk, i just feel like weve all been goin downhill ever since Miggy left. Can one person really impact this many people, this much? true, he was a big part of our lives and we all love and miss him a lot, but was he the only thing holding us together? without him, are we forced to be the way we are? or can we still fight to maintain and keep our group together? I feel like im the only one left fighting to keep us whole. Weve been hella tight ever since the third grade, close as brothers, it seems like it would be wrong to abandon him now that hes got no one else. idk wat to do. I really just cant do this alone. I dont have anything left to give. Hella hurtin rite now, feelin all different shades of shitty. parents just abandon me, dnt even care. Friends are fighting, no hope of peace in site. gotta keep shit together and do hella shit all the fucking time, 24/7/365. feel like i gotta fucking keep everything in, sometimes feels like i wanna just explode and lash out at anyone and everyone, anything or everything. anything to just feel something different, to know that something i did made a difference, good or bad. this is so fucking bad. How can things really get this bad? it seems like every aspect of my life just suddenly fuckin all plotted against me and were like FUCK THIS NIGGA, and all went bad at the same fucking time. Isn't my fucking theory supposed to make this shit get better? or am i now suffering for all the good times i had? fuck dude, i musta had so heavenly fuckin times to deserve this shit