Brett why you look so mad?

nigga, why u look so happy? seems like hella ppl been askin me that lately. I dnt really feel that mad. well not compared to usual hahaa. havent really gone beast mode on anyone in a long time, thats probly a good thing. Finally not on lockdown no more, hella happy bout that shit. seen new moon wit D swag, my nigga nick, and jas yesterday. shit was actually pretty fun. well not the movie itself but hangin out wit ppl and enjoying their company. today was the first day back to school tho. wakin up early was not crackin. it was fuckin GREAT to see everyone tho, i missed them. i was hella happy when i seen everyone, felt like forever. still gotta start hwk tho but im not really worried about that. maybe i should be? idk, who cares? hahaa. so i found out the tree lighting ceremony is on friday. didnt even no that shit. came up hella quick. BUT young K is tryinna get to this concerto in SF and that shit seems coo so im tryinna get there too, but we dnt have a ride =[[ w.e, at least we'll for sure have SUMTHIN to do that nite hahaa. saturday...... not too sure about that shit yet. i know im doin SUMTHin tho, im gettin this weekend POPPIN to make up for a SUPER whack ass break. LOL just watched lil black joshes newest "dancing" video HELLA funny. I've really been thinking about the future lately. certain things look good but other thigns i feel like i need to change cuz im not satisfied with the way things are or the way other things are going. however, sometimes when i try to share my thoughts with otheres, not just the thoughts of the future but any actually well thought out or deep thoughts, i find that i don't have the vocabulary or means to convey the message or meaning im trying to get across. its HELLA frustrating to have an idea/feeling/epiphany so pure, so beautiful, so inspiring that i know it HAS to be true, yet be unable to share this with anyone. maybe i need to expand my horizons, learn more about other areas of life before i can do so? who knows... anyways, lifes pretty good lately i guess. I'm hoping i can keep myself under control, I actually don't like it when i lose it, especially not in front of ppl that are close to me, a lot of them say it's like im a totally different preson, that theyre scared of me, which is the last thing i want.....
""But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."" - Alice in Wonderland