Probably the last one ever....

been my song for a minute

Dun Dun Fucking DUN! *insert Stav face*

its bad

Lol

Sunday mornin, rain is fallin

Nyquil

is the shit.
been sick for a few days.
Anyways, i took nyquil last night, and i had a thought
and i forgot wat it was until i just took nyquil again a lil while ago
and this is wat it is:
The heart and the brain are mortal enemies. Really, they fucking hate each other because they are really just like polar opposites.
The heart hopes for shit and is all optimistic and is down to take hella leaps of faith
while the brain is the realist, the pessimist, whose in the back just like
"wtf are you doing? cut that shit out, you look dumb as fuck. look at the facts."
i think theyre not close together because if they were, they'd really just destroy each other.
man, i just sat here for hella long just lookin at wat i wrote.
some people really disappoint me

I was just thinking

just had an interesting thought.
i think that people want to/enjoy watching other peoples suffering/pain/w.e goes wrong
in their lives, just to be able to see that they aren't alone in the fact that
at least part of their life really just sucks. they watch to make themselves feel
better because they realize that it could be so much worse

Interesting

Found a bunch of quotes i like through out a long period of time and decided
that i should share them.

"What's the difference between tragedy and irony?"
"I don't know."
"Self-importance."

"I see all this potential, and I see it squandered."

"We have no great war, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives."

maybe there werent that many after all....

Fuck

I don't sleep well anymore.
i wake up hella early and it's hella hard to fall asleep.
I stay just thinkin about hella shit.
K is back tho =]]

I wonder

I wonder if anyone else ever just feels like destroying life.
I need to get arrows for my bow.

Haven't Posted in a Minute

awesome

I Wonder

got on that job hype finally yeee.
me matt and k boutta be coworkers!!!
hella happy schools houtta be over as well
gettin lazy tho, grades are lightweight slippin.
matts bday was coo, had a few people together, seen iron man 2.
yesterday was aight i guess
did hella yardwork hella early in the morning
ran and ended up seeing K and matt running at community
went home
ended up goin to Ks at like 10
had a few people together
it was coo.
ahahaa miggy referred to my theory =]]
well now i gotta think of a deep ass quote to beat his from one of his latest blogs

"In any situation, regardless of what it entails, all you need is the opportunity, for someone to give you a chance to prove how much better you could make things if they would just let you."
-Brett Imuthafuckinmel

Fuck Dentists

one of the dentists at my dental place
is HELLA FUCKING HOTT!
shes asian and between 22-27
shes fuckin BAAAAADDDD.
when i was on the Nitrous, definitely thought about
havin an office scene wit her.....
ANYWAYS, i got a badass headache rite now that has persisted
throughout the last few hours and seems to have
no intention of going away. What a pity.
soooooo glad tomorows friday.
ALSO, tomorow, my year of havin a license is up
so i can officially drive people and not have to worry about gettin in trouble.
THATS WASSUP!!!
lets get shit crackin, i need to make up for some terrible ass days.
this is a point where my theory can come in handy
because, according to said theory, i am motherfucking OWED some goddamn
GOOD ASS fucking PERFECT days.
let us pray

Wisdom

Lesson learned.
Never Let Anyone New In.
Don't let anyone else get close.
Trust has to be earned, if it is given freely, it will be exploited.
Harden your heart to everything, then you will truly be invincible.


*yeaa beat that fuckin quote miggy hahaa*

Irony

its hella nice and bright and sunny outside
right when everything is so dark inside

BBQ failed hahaa

good day tho.... kinda.
my year of havin a provisional license is boutta be up friday.
hopefully my mom agrees to let me pick up miggy
especially since theres no valid reason why i shouldn't
be able to. Nick definitely reminded me of how great eminem is.

"It hurts, but I never show this pain you’ll never know
If only you could see just how lonely and how cold
And frostbit I’ve become"- Eminem

"Not a jealous man, but females lie
But I guess that's just what sluts do
How could it ever be just us two?
I never loved you enough to trust you
We just met and I just fucked you" - Eminem

How Delightfully Depressing

There's probably something wrong with me.


"Suddenly my head is filled with visions of force feeding these faceless boys glass. Glass mixed with wasps."- Locke Vinette

Damn....

just one of those days.
shit.

Posted

hella bored.
was tryin to start hwk early but that failed.
just been thinkin about my life for a while.
read miggy's blog.
made me sad =[[
but miggy wrote his own deep ass quote
so now I have too as well.
cuz then i'll be cool right!?!? lol

Life tries to tear you apart. The people who take the time to keep you together are what make it all worth it-Brett Imel

Irksome

hella annoying when people lie. It's obvious that I'm going to find out so you might as well tell the truth. It's an insult to me if someone lies to me, they think that i either won't find out because im too stupid or that for some reason the information just won't reach me.

And the Beat Goes On

Damn
i jess people liked my rap? hahaaa
volume two

to be put in I'll Be In The Sky by B.O.B.


People always thinkin that they all so slick
thinkin that they got some unseen trick
but they don't know that they aint shit
for them manana is gonna bitch.
I see these people foolin themselves,
believin love is like a jar on a shelf.
reach out and grab it,
it's yours, you can have it.
HAH! thats such a stupid fuckin thought
ive been in love and look wat it's brought.
Pain and suffering, misfortune and loss,
love aint sumthin into which you wanna cross.
It seems so much simpler from the outside,
shouldnt really be hard to find a bride.
SIKE!! Girls be fuckin niggas up
doin shit that'll have a dudes heart stuck.
But i'm done with all that kinda drama
and DEFINITELY dnt want no baby mama.
I'm just finna do w.e im feelin,
whether it be drinkin or gettin higher than the ceilin.
Now my son Young Mig deserves some recognition,
and when he comes back we gonna have a mission,
to make sure his D aint never ever dry,
And imma look out from my place in the sky.

To my sons

got bored
decided to write a rap
lets see how this turns out
first song that came on was 143 so i guess its to this?


now 1 4 3 mean I love you
when girls hear me say it, they don't know wat to do.
Shocking, surprising, astonishing, whooaaa
whoever i say it to cant be a hoe!
But my son Matt C wanna be in this flow,
so he can just hear his real daddy go.
Now niggas need to learn to not feel shit
otherwise a bitch'll have his heart fuckin split.
We gotta just get pussy then fuckin dip,
Cant never be seen eatin that clit.
Bitches stay never carin and fuckin niggas over,
have a dude hella blue like his name Grover.
Wah? wat happened? whered yall go?
wah? u didnt know that i could flow?
I'm a muthafuckin poet when I'm in the mood
My shit make ur game look hella fuckin crude!
I can keep my G flowin, all day and night
I'm just TOO MUCH, not to be impolite.
Seems like i'm cocky? Go fuck yourself
I'm only tryinna get bitches and hella wealth



yeaa
thats it i jess
probly gotta hear me say it to make it actually seem like it goes to the beat
but no one probly ever will hear me say it.
except possibly the main nigs

Good Weekend

Friday was crackin! HELLA heads down at the park. Missin the Bethel niggas tho and miggy =[[
good ass day. Saturday BEACH!!! made a bonfire =]] sunday? BEACH AGAIN!!! made another bonfire hahaaa. had a pretty deep convo wit kam. Figured something out thats actually really
important that i didn't realize until i said it out loud.... not really sure wat imma do about it
cuz it's one of thsoe thigns that can't just be left alone forever.....
W.e. I'll figure it out, gotta keep puttin in work tho. More effort is needed for school, lightweight slackin, gotta step it up. Gotta work out harder and more, need more/better results. Gotta work harder to make the quality of my life better, i'm not satisfied with every aspect of my life.
Gotta get a job, need some constant income.
Gotta do/be better.
Cannot get better friends tho, not every little person who thinks we have some bond that qualifies us as friends, but my real, always been there for me, down to ride, trustworthy, *no homo but* loving niggas. Where would i be without you guys?
kinda wish my family would come together tho, the way we used to be =[[

I wish

I wish everyone could keep up with me, my thought process, my conversations, my ideas, everything.

I wish that people would see things from my perspective. Pretty much all my niggas do so its so much better when im with them. Shit really isn't complicated but other people make it that way.

I wish the majority of the world didnt enjoy drama. Everyone says they hate it and then they go around and cause it for themselves and others. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO STUPID PEOPLE!?

I wish things were better




I'm finished makin' sense, done pleading ignorance..."-Foo Fighters

I Have Realized...

I am an insanely over-jealous person. The majority of my life I think logically and use common sense in most situations. However, I feel very territorial about certain things, and when I feel someone encroaches upon any part of my territory, I lose all rationality and become enraged with jealousy. Curious. Very curious....

I'm So Tired

I'm tired of everyone's perfection. "omg you make make so happy, your so perfect, were perfect for each other, life is perfect, were perfect, everything is just so perfect"
things like this make me want to breathe smoke and let the world crumble in my hands
why does everyone want to be perfect? perfection is overrated
wat makes perfection so great? if everyone was perfect, then everyone would be the same.
besides, perfection is unattainable.
There's a reason people are imperfect: it makes them unique.
I love my friends and family for their imperfections. Every little quirk, oddity, habit, anything that separates them from the rest of the herd makes them all the better and more cherished to me.
"We like each other for our common qualities, but it is our differences, our imperfections, that we love each other for"

I'm so tired of people being so sensitive. At times, it's good to stand up for yourself or w.e you believe is being offended or whatever, but it is totally unnecessary to constantly bicker about things that have no importance whatsoever. People need to realize when shit really just doesn't matter. It's so much easier to see things clearly when your mind isn't clouded by bias or emotions.

I'm so tired of being smarter than the majority of people. It's hella hard to communicate with someone when you constantly have to slow down, and spell out every little thing. It's like people intentionally act dense just to frustrate those of us who aren't total morons. THEN they expect us to dumb it down for them just so they can understand. HELLO!? are you people that fucking retarded? if someone is more advanced at you at something, you step your fucking game up and get better so you can keep up!! some people are just fucking dumbasses.

I'm so tired of people demanding so much out of me. So many people expect me to make all these decisions and take care of all this shit, and in all honesty, i dont give a shit about any of it.
It takes so much energy to put up with the majority of the world's shit and all these teachers and parents and coaches and all these "authority figures" and wat they all want from me, that by the end of the day i just don't have any left for anything. If people want to make things happen, put forth a fucking effort, they shouldnt ask me wat they should do, that's really just not doin shit. It's making me do more.

I love when I don't have to think about anything, just react intuitively. It feels so good to just do whatever I want without having to stop and think and plan out what i'm going to do. Go with the flow, just do whatever the fuck i want.




It needs to be summer.



"There is no greater aspiration than to have love in our lives..."-Mr. Feeney

Why's everyone asking me what I want?

I wish everything was perfect. Things are so complex all the time and when I really think about it,
it really shouldnt be this way. However, people are hella stupid and emotional and
that complicates things. especially girlsz...
Speaking of girlsz, I constantly find myself having to slow down my thought processes so that they can keep up. very difficult to fully express myself/communicate with their gender. Also, I always find myself thinking aabout how im so much smarter than they are. I can easily manipulate them to do/to get watever i want. I dont see how they dont realize that these things happen to them all the time.
pretty much girls and dumb people need to step it up and quit bein hella slow so that I don't get frustrated just going in public places.
a lot of the time i go through like long ass periods where i dnt really care about much and everythings all good when its like that cuz nothing realy matters.
but then every once in a while ill go through a very very small period of time, not even a day long, where i experience such an extreme and powerful wave of negative emotion that i cant even contain it or fight it off.
there are very few things in this world that help me keep these compresses of emotion to a minimum
mainly my niggas tho
love u guys

Day 6

almost off lockdown. sooooo boring.
painted a house today. that was actually pretty fulfilling.
nice to see that when u put in work at certain things, it makes a difference.
kinda hate being bored cuz then it leaves me alone with my thoughts.
most things just depress me. everything is goin to hell in the world
and even tho its really bad and saddening, i definitely coulda called it.
my niggas are like one of the few things in life that i love more than anything. i would kill/die for anyone of my actual, real, honest to god, trustworthy niggas. they help me get thru life. they brighten my day when i need it the most. but days like these, where im isolated, my thoughts take a downward spiral...
i miss just kickin it at miggys/kevins houses/the park wit everyone.
fuck this divided, no matter wat happens someone gets mad, always feelin like someones missing bullshit, i miss the old days. even though we didn't go nowhere, or do
what other people in our grade were doin, we really had better times than anyone else.
fuck that, we had the BEST times. i miss going to bed content with the days events.
i miss not wanting the day to end, now i just feel like it shouldnt have even started.
i miss being care free, doing wat i want instead of thinking carefully about every little thing
having to plan out everything every step of the way.
i miss not fucking up all the time. i miss the unity of everything.
i miss my self assuredness. i miss my feelings. i miss miggy.
i miss being happy

Day Damn 1

home. decided i was too tired and had too much shit to do and i didnt wanna get any 0's so i just stayed home today. tournament was actually pretty coo. got 3rd tho. woulda got 1st if UGO didnt get a red card in the first game. jk ugo, love u mah dooo. that was a dumbass reason for a red anyways. last game was HELLA intense. came back from bein down by 3, double overtime, shootouts until the last man, and then alexis our keeper won it for us. great. ride back was coo but whenever it got quiet started thinkin about stuff... not fun. some people kinda disgust/disappoint me. i miss my niggas tho. pretty sure imma stop by the school after school tho. get work, possibly work out. im glad i was busy like all weekend. workin hard from the moment i got up, workin wit a group of ppl for a common goal. legit. i feel like shit doesnt weigh as much on my mind since the tournament started. birthday comin up this weekend. not really sure wat imma do but i dnt really care either hahaa

There Are Days...

Foreword: I have dedicated this blog to Nick Howery, who saw fit to search out my blog and read it. It is in his honor that I will attempt to write this entire entry with good grammar and spelling.

Now, to begin, whomever is reading this must know the vocabulary I intend to use. Really, this only means two words:
cynical: showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one's actions, esp. by actions that exploit the scruples of others.
pessimistic: pertaining to or characterized by a tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view
These are words that are on the surface of my mind almost constantly when I look at the world around me. Many people truly disgust me. People no longer have the morals, standards, or ethics they used to have. It's revolting to think that in our society, we allow people to act the way they do without severely punishing those who deserve it. It sickens me that people can do the things they do to each other, and live with themselves, knowing what they have done. For example, there was a story on TV the other day, talking about mothers who abuse their children sexually. How could anyone do that to a child? Especially that child's own mother, the one person in the whole world who is supposed to love and take care of that child more than anyone else? Sickening. Looking around while in public, the majority of the population make me sick. Everyone just looks out for themselves because that's the only person they really care about. At times, people act like they care about one another, but they really don't. No one who actually cares about someone else would do something that would hurt that person they care about, no matter what. Really, it pisses me off that so many people get away with shit like that. How can we arrest not arrest people for the terrible things they do? Ok, I'm sorry Nick, but I can't really let out my thoughts when I have to write correctly. end of dedicated part for nick.

ANYWAYS, shit really pisses me off. people fucking suck. they hurt each other, even when theyre supposedly in love. they fuck up everything they have going for them. they dont realize wat they had until its way too fucking late. then they blame everything on someone else. fucking ridiculous. IF SHITS FUCKED UP, TAKE FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY PEOPLE!! thats probably why im such a cynic.... and a pessimist. i really only like my niggas, my family, and a few select people. other than that, i kinda hate everyone. people are so fucking stupid and irritating. if u love someone, u dnt fucking hurt them. ever. no matter what. the end. theres no fucking question about it, its not a debate or sumthing to be questioned, its a fucking fact. GIRLSZ u always bitch about "omg these guys are so fucked up, they only want one thing, they are so mean, theyre so heart less, blah blah blah..." u wanna know why theyre like that? cuz once upon a time, they made the mistake of actually caring, and a girl ripped out his fucking heart and shattered it into infinitesimal pieces. that is why most guys are heartless. anyways, back to the point.... people suck hahaa. if you know someone you "care about" is going to get mad or upset, or any kind of negative reaction to something u are doing or plan on doing, DONT FUCKING DO IT! its like fucking common sense, learn to not be such a fucking idiot. for once in peoples lives, they should THINK before they act. shit. it's like most of the people in the world are fucking retards. fuck. everyone needs to fucking better themselves because really, if ur not, u better be Jesus or sumthin, otherwise ur just a fucking idiot.
well i guess thats all i hae to say rite now
peacee
*ATS*

Dazed and Confused

so fuckedd. dnt even no. my niggas got me tho. love u guys.

FUCK THE WORLD hahahaa

hahahaa great

Summer Dream Deferred...

friday tomorow
then weekend, lets get it POPPINNNN!!! hahahaa
gotta get into the habit of doin hwk as soon as i get home...... starting tomorow lol.
weight room is crackinn. everyones gettin back to bein close again, we all kick it. its coo.
workin hard consistently is pretty fuckin legit too, makes me feel good about myself.
thats about it....

"I am the inescapable, the irresistable,
The unnegotiable, the unchallenged,
I am time."- Mos Def

AA is for quitters.

crackin ass weekend. likin how the we roll so deep
lets keep the good times rollin
and keep on keepin on
do wat we gotta do, and dont worry about shit thats out of our control

Been a Minute...

Havent posted since last year. Ahahahaa hella funny! get it, cuz its the NEW year!? lol, hella dummy ass joke. this year has started out actually really good. im glad we all started hangin out again, i missed that. maybe thats why i started bein hella angry again, but now im not anymore. aaayyyyeeee yung Mig X boutta be back soon, gotta get it CRAACKKIINNNN!! gotta keep workin hard at everything, but im actually pleased with my focus and dedication to everything so far.